Lost children/lost lives

I was thinking about my neighbors from when I lived in Suquamish, it was 1984, right after I had a break-up and I had moved into this small apartment complex on the Puget Sound. The man's name was Tony, and the boy's name was Tony. I thought that was odd, but shrugged it off. He wasn't enrolled in school. I don't know how long he had been living with Tony, but I thought he was a passive young man. I think he sometimes washed dishes at a local restaurant. I only remember having one conversation with the youth, I remember that I asked him if her were in touch with his parents. I had heard of Tony and Tony before I moved into the apartment and I was told that Tony had been a street youth in Seattle when Tony had taken him in. I was 34 years old, I think Tony was 50-60 years old and young Tony was 15. At some point Tony told me he was moving back to Oregon (?) to care for his mother. I remember asking what would happen to Tony, I had a sense that he would be left to fend for himself. I was in touch with Tony by letter a few times, I don't know what happened to young Tony. I do not remember Tony's last name or where he moved to. Young Tony would be 40 years old now.

When I went to work as a Child Welfare Social Worker in 1990 I learned that children are considered adults at age 13 in Washington State. So if I had children on my case load who ran away from home or from their foster homes the police didn't really pursue them if they were 13 years old. Even if Tony had run away and then had ended up with Tony because he could get two or three meals and had a stable roof over his head that was a terrible life. My real question about young Tony is how did he end up living with Tony and was his name really Tony? I wonder if anyone ever reported his existence to the Suquamish Police? Maybe Tony was hiding in Suquamish because it was an Indian Reservation or maybe someone finally did report the situation to the police and that is why Tony left.

Does my immaturity and lack of knowledge matter, am I guilty of supporting a child molester in his life style? I will be more guilty if I ever allow some strange situation between a child and adult to go unquestioned again. We have this belief in our country that a "man's" home is his castle; to a point that is respectable, but if we continue to feel discomfort about a situation then we need to pursue that feeling to the end and not let it linger and disappear.

We have so much information in our heads; it is difficult to remember everything we "should" be remembering and aware of. When it comes to children and strange adults and feelings of discomfort I think we need to pursue those feelings even if we seem to be or feel like we are making pests of ourselves.

I'm sorry Tony, whether you were a street kid or whether you were a stolen child you didn't deserve to have to pay with your body for your food and shelter. I hope you had the opportunity to grow up and reach age 40 and I hope that you have found a life in your adulthood that brings you comfort and safety. Blessings, Iris